I'm feeling quite nostalgic and melancholy today, bear with me. I just got home from a visit back East, and my step-dad (papa) was on vacation while I was there. On his last night of vacation, he got a call from his good friend and partner at work, Sandy, who asked "when are you coming home?" My mom adores Sandy (and my mom doesn't just "adore" everyone... LOL), and she's one of Papa's best friends. So we all giggled at that, knowing she missed him at work. Anyway, I got home late Thursday night. I found out today that Sandy went walking her dog early Thursday evening and got hit by a car. She's not expected to make it, and my heart just felt so heavy upon hearing this. I don't know her, but I know my parents love her and that's all that matters. I'm keeping her and her entire family in my thoughts and prayers. I appreciate anyone else who does the same.
Hearing this put me in a somber mood. I started thinking about how short life is, and how you just. never. know. You can take precautions, you can live your life safe and comfortable and healthy and BOOM - you get hit by a car less than a block from your own home while walking your damn dog. So unfair. But who ever guaranteed fairness? I'm like the eternal optimist, usually, but some days it's hard to find the silver lining. Life is truly not fair. Babies die, children get kidnapped, you lose people you love. Cancer has struck more of my family and friends than I can even count, mostly over the past 10 years. Now parents are starting to fall and break bones, have surgeries, die. I guess that's what happens when we get older, huh? First our parents, then us. And lately it seems like every time we recover from one tragedy, another one happens to someone we know.
Can I push the Pause button for just a freaking second, please? I was just 21 and now I'm 42 and holy crap, that's half my life gone by in the blink of an eye. I remember thinking "some day, I'm going to..." Well, when is some day? I am starting to understand people who live their lives taking risks, taking chances. Why not make the most of life, have as much fun as you can and enjoy it, before it's all just gone? Of course,that doesn't ever mean doing those things at the expense of another person's feelings or life. No hurting others for your own benefit. First, do no harm. But if it harms none, do as ye will. That's my motto.
Anyway, I also started thinking about just making sure the people I love know exactly how I feel about them. I would never want to lose someone I love (or have them lose me) and regret that they didn't know what they meant to me. So I'm probably going to be super mushy and drive my friends and family crazy over the next few months, but I feel like it's important. Relationships have always been very important to me, and I just feel very strongly that even if I haven't seen or talked to someone for years, that they know they are still important to me and always will be. And they won't know that unless I tell them. I think too many of us assume our loved ones know how we feel. How many times have you heard "she knows I love her"? or some version of it? I can tell you from experience that we don't always know. And that it's so important that we do. Because isn't that basically what makes us special, makes us humans? Having feelings, emotions, relationships? We take it for granted, though, or at the very least we forget. I'm going to try really hard to always remember, and to make sure the people I love really and truly know that I love them. Peace.